Entering the Tiger’s Lair
“I am the wilderness before the dawn.”
Tao Te Ching
The spirit of Autumn meets you in your hidden depths. She is the feeling tone of life’s fathomless interiority guiding you down through the roots of dying perennials, connecting diverse realms through the shadowy folds of what we cannot see.
She is the call of the wild pulling the sinews of your soul—huntress who follows the questions you don’t yet know that you have. You come to know her by instinct. As your eyes adjust to a new level of darkness, you learn to sense your way through vibration, texture, temperature variation, feeling tone, smell, and proprioception.
Thriving networks of mycelium, roots, creature pathways, and underground rivers connect and communicate across species and continents. All who have lived and died become compost, bones, seeds, and minerals commingling and becoming one another.
There is no beginning or end to the web of life below, just as above. As within, so without. We are all active participants whose presence and actions matter.
As I submerge into the autumn of my own inner depths, I return to the primordial waters where life itself is disassembled and remade.
Whenever I resist this natural descent, cling too tightly to the world of light and what is visible and knowable, or try to control the timing and outcome of my time here, I begin to feel frightened, cut off, and alone. When I relax, pathways of connection open. The inner light of things reveal themselves.
Some say that the underworld is hell. Others say that the underworld is fecund soil capable of nourishing, restructuring, gestating, redeeming. All of these things are true depending on how it is met.
In this season of darkening, decay, and descent, whoever you are and however you are experiencing the dance of light and dark, heaven and hell, be spacious with all that is coming up for you right now. This is not easy territory for anyone, regardless of age or experience. Feel how you are not alone—that somewhere, someone is lighting a candle on behalf of all who have lost something or someone they loved more than life itself, that someone is chanting prayers for all beings everywhere, that someone is forgiving a wrong-doing while firmly standing for peace and justice, that someone is helping someone else in need even though they themself are struggling immensely, that someone who has never felt seen finally feels truly seen, that someone is offering loving presence to someone else even though they disagree, that someone is opening their heart for the first time in years, that someone is making amends for harming another, that someone is daring to speak their truth in the midst of oppression and hatred, and another is standing with them, and another, and another, and another.
That past and future ancestors are holding ritual space right now on the other side of this moment with an open invitation to feel the sacredness that is here, right now within each of us just as we are. That this sacredness shows us something about how to live if we allow it.
The wholeness of our authenticity consists of light and dark and needs time in both worlds to ripen and refine. The original nature of each living being is revealed only as much as one is ready. What is new and forming, rough and cloudy is clarified and polished by keeping one’s heart open, especially in hell.
Our very souls depend on it.
With openness and loving kindness, take a moment to reflect on what you have harvested from the summer garden of your inner world. Notice what has come to fruition and what didn’t make it. Listen inside for what needs to be let go of. What seeds remain that will need your consistent tending? In what ways is the garden of your body asking for nourishment as you prepare for the winter months of slowing down, resting more, dreaming, and gestating?
Is there a feeling tone that is more prevalent for you right now? Ask it what it needs. Then vow to give your body what it’s asking for as much as you are able. Notice places in your body that feel all ok—where your natural vitality is humming, flowing and vibrant. Notice where there may be lack of ease. Place your hands on the place of unease and offer loving presence.
If it is your heart that is hurting, offer your breath and breathe with the breath of life that animates and connects all living beings. Be with what is there, like a friend. If you can, widen your awareness to all whose hearts are hurting. We all share the hurt that is a natural part of loving deeply. Thank your body, mind, spirit, and soul for all the ways they carry you through the entirety of your life. Make a simple altar to the ancestors (they do not have to be human ones, but can be). Make it beautiful. Offer your heart, gratitude, and deep listening. Make an offering each day and notice what happens over time.
When we touch our inner depths with honesty and humility, we begin to grow roots for the longing that keeps us seeking and becoming. We become fertile soil by meeting all that we encounter with curiosity, imagination, openness and full-bodied presence, making sacred all that we cannot know, understand, or control. We live our way into what it means to be human in communion with the greater whole and become medicine that can be shared.
***Within the framework of Taoist inner alchemy, tiger is the symbol of the west, descent, death, transformation, and the wild, unconditioned aspect of self that is related to the wisdom of the physical body, senses, and the creative impulse of soul. Entering the lair looking for the tiger means using the dangers and difficulties of the world to develop firmness and strength through practices that help us more fully inhabit the body and still the mind. In this way, we develop the ability to ground the aberrant energies of conditioned reality and nourish our original nature. Through this lifelong process, we become medicine that is needed in the world. Our most tender, wounded, and vulnerable aspects of self are where are greatest strengths lie.
About the Author: Monique Gaboury is a licensed acupuncturist, in Freeland, WA, specializing in Alchemical Acupuncture. She loves sharing her passion for natural healing at her clinic and through writing her blog ‘Re-membering Wholeness, Belonging and Kinship Through Changing Times’.
Juniper Medicine Alchemical Acupuncture serving the greater Seattle area on Whidbey Island. To schedule an appointment call 360-672-1506 or EMAIL.
