Mysterious Pass

 

By watching Fabienne Verdier1 paint, it is possible to enter the contemplative and meditative space from which she works in a palpable way. Spontaneous movement embodied as the moment emerges through her being- through the brushes, paint, the forces of nature, and elements around her. She says, “When I paint a tree, I become a tree, when I paint water I become water. The same with tectonic forces. It’s something self-generating. I feel it powerfully in my heart. It comes out in an abstract form.”

Like in the teachings of Taoist sages, she too is engaged in the practice of emptiness creating itself. Such practices require silence and solitude, enough to create a highly receptive state where one can begin to truly hear. Fabienne says, “you hear your inner voice, sometimes the inner voice of clarity itself. I don’t know, it’s a great mystery.”

I see many parallels in Fabienne’s practice as a painter to the practice of a practitioner of Chinese Medicine. In the treatment room with a patient, together we open to possibility- to emptiness- to mystery-to the forces of nature- to the elements- with a shared intention, and then we see what ‘wants’ to happen. When this inquiry  engages and moves with the tools of Chinese Medicine, something new is able to emerge- bringing change and creating space as nourishing ground for the spontaneous arising of harmony, clarity, and wholeness embodied. True healing is a mystery- moving away from the known toward the unknown in a dance of moving stillness and stillness moving.

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Serpent Path to the World Within the World

 

Descending the steep narrow path, I am led across an invisible threshold to a world within the world. The path consists of broken pieces of mountain turned to dry, loose, crumbly pebbles making it easy to slip and lose balance. There is little to hang onto except for larger rocks sparsely spaced offering just enough stability for me to reach down to take hold of – each rock appearing and disappearing at random as I move further down the path. I notice the metaphor of the unstable path for the edge of uncertainty that we walk upon every day with every breath.

I pause to inhale the sweet musky mountain air while absorbing the sound of the roaring rapids below which appear and disappear from sight like a mythical serpent slithering behind the trees. I contemplate the instinctual, transformative power of serpent and its ability to bridge inner and outer, above and below. I bend my knees ever so slightly, breathing into pelvic bowl and sacrum- finding a center point that offers internal stability. The deafening waters continue to beckon, steadily peeling away outer layers of daily holding and accumulations of the ten thousand things of daily living like a snake shedding its skin.

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The Holy Place in the Middle- Hexagram 15. Humility 1

 

A goldfinch dances between branches of the lilac bush as the sun filters through the window in a ballet of moving shapes upon the hardwood floor. My heart twists through waves of grief, permeating the outer edges of limitation- of holding, desire, and resistance. On the other side I land in new soil emptied, open, and filled with a strange kind of peace.

Loss and grief are entrances to a landscape where all that is false falls away. From tumultuous descent, one is returned to the ground of being- down to earth- deconstructed into the raw elements which comprise the very soil/humus/earth of which we are made and from which we are nourished. Humility equalizes. What is full becomes empty, what is empty becomes full.

Limitation can be experienced as a result of being in a body/mortal/human, something outgrown, something which is not within one’s power to change, or from feelings of separation. Surrender moves us through the permeable membrane of limitation, opening to the vast expanse of the ground upon which it lays. Authenticity is born from the level ground of humility. This is our humanity- the humus/earth from which we all originate, are all connected, and are all equal.

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